A Series of Not So Fortunate Events
by Sorceress of Demon Otters
Summary: My brother wrote this. Messed-up names, warm cucumber soup, bad rock music and rubber duckies combine to make this the Baudelaire's worst nightmare! WARNING: PARODY. ALL CHARACTERS WILL BE HUGELY OOC!
1. Rock Bands and Relatives

Series of Really Not Fortunate Events- 12 The Stupid Stereo

by Anthony and Lydia Pezzullo and Robyn Evaldi

Dedicated to some guy ina pizza shop in Florida, Germany.

If you saw the 3 Baudelaire children sitting in Mr. Poe's car racing down Horrid Street, you'd probably think that they were in for a great, exciting time. If you'd like to believe that, you can. But you'd be dead wrong.  
If you picked up this book in hopes of reading a fun, happy fairy tale, then you may as well close the book and go cry to your mommy that Tony, Lydia, and Robyn are jerk pessimists. Though we're not.  
"Anyway, Mr. Poe," said Klaus, the middle Baudelaire child, "Who is our new guardian?"  
"Sylvester Slyiskter, who I believe would like you to call him The Slickster."  
"What the heck kind of name is Sylvester?!" asked Violent, the rudest and oldest Baudelaire.  
"I say!" yelled Mr. Poe, "Stop that foulmouthing this instant!"  
"Butthole," Violent murmured to herself.  
"Therti!" yelled Sunny, the youngest Baudelaire which probably meant 'You idiot of a sister!'  
"Shut your stupid pie holes!" yelled Klaus, so loudy that 2 of the windows broke.  
"Ah," said Mr. Poe "We're there." The Baudelaires saw a black house with a strange song coming from it.  
"What the hecking baballoo?" yelled Klaus. Ibelieve it istime to tell you that Klaus is an idiot and has read almost nothing, considering that he barely could.  
As they walked to the house, they heard that it was rock music. A man opened the door, tounge out, peace signs on each hand, and a big smile."Yo! 'Sup dawgs?" he yelled. He was a skinny man and had long fingers and toes.  
As the Baudelaires walked in, the rock music got so loud that Sunny thought that she perforated- the word here means OOOOWWWW THAT'S LOUD!!!!!!- her eardrums.  
"Shut that god-forsaken thing off!" yelled Violent.  
To their relief, the slickster turned it off. Yo, I must say is a slangish term which means nothing to anyone but 'hip' teens.  
"Yo!" he said.  
"Hello. We're the 3 Baudelaire orphans," said Klaus.  
"Your music stinks!" yelled Violent in an unusually dumb way.  
"I'll ignore that," said The Slickster. "I love rock music."  
They took a tour around the house and found that everything was rock-themed. "I plan to start a rock band and--"  
The slickster was cut off because there was a doorbell ring (All Star by SmashMouth). He answered and the Baudelaires saw that it was Count Shuttheheckup. With his gigantic buttocks and his fake mustache, his guitar and his glasses, he was dispicable.  
"I am Oiloperted Ubert, or Oil Change for short."  
"No, he's count shuttheheckup."  
"You shut the heck up!" yelled Oil change.  
"Oil change, you must come in and show me your skills on guitar." The Baudelaires saw for the first time that Count Shuttheheckup had a.... I can't bear to say it.... RUBBER DUCKY in his pocket! He didn't even let them have a chance!  
"Oil and I have talked about it and we have come to an agreement." said Sylvester. "We're going to have a concert."  
The Baudelaires had a dinner of nice warm cucumber soup. But the meal was depressing to them-- Count Shutttheheckup was in the hall watching! They were sent to bed and they each chose a bedroom, but then decided to see if Uncle (really 2nd cousin 5 times removed's uncle's young cousin's dad) Slyiskter was alone.  
Eventually they opted not to because if they did, they could see the rubber ducky!


	2. VSC Very Short Chappie

**A Series of Not So Fortunate Events- 12 The Stupid Stereo**

by Anthony and Lydia Pezzullo and Robyn Evaldi

Dedicated to some guy in a pizza shop in Florida, Germany.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the SoUE books, nor do my brother or my friend. We do, however, posess a very strange sense of humor. **NOTE:** Tony and Robyn do most of the storyline. I handle censorship and editing.

"Mr. Poe will be coming at 7:00 P.M. and nothing you can do can stop him! Oh and in case you forgot, I have a concert at 6:25 P.M., Violent," said Oil Change (I hate to say it but I must now always call him that until the Baudelaires, if they do, find out otherwise.), grinning.

The Baudelaires were told to pack their bags in their rooms and locked in, having no one to talk to. Not even their siblings. Violent tied her back hair into a ribbon and thought hard. Then, she had an idea. She took 4 cups from the counter by her bed. Then she added her hair braids on them. Next she hollowed out her braids and taped them to the cups. She yelled, "Duck" and shot a hole through all 3 of their rooms.

She threw the cups out of her walls into the separated rooms and said through it that they had to quickly find out what Count Shuttheheckup's plan was.

Eventually they knew that he would take them to the concert, avoid autographs and then run out to Liechtenstein.

**Dun dun duuunnnnn... **so? You like? You no like? Review!


End file.
